Monique Williams

They called you crazy. Your idea is lunacy. Your approach, ridiculous. Your dreams? Childish fantasy. It’s never been done, and certainly not by someone the likes of you. People better than you have tried and failed, they say. You’re just a nut!

So what?

There is no growth in sanity. The sane live a life of comfort and predictability. They live in metrics and tangibles.  They live in the past, with an understanding of how things were and use that to determine how things will be. Sanity is a cardboard box. Your life is a mirrored funhouse.

The seasons I spend in my good space—when I can guarantee I’ll hear “You’re Crazy” at least twice a day—are the times I am my best mentally, emotionally and spiritually. They call me crazy because I’m open and honest, wide-eyed and enthusiastic about life and my approach to it. They call me crazy because I know I’m unstoppable and the world is mine for the taking. They smell the iconoclasm, the hints of megalomania and they identify it as “Crazy.” It’s easier to call it that than what it really is: Genius.

Your “crazy” is enviable. You are creative. You are a visionary. You have a unique perspective that they can’t see because they weren’t given your prescription. You are a thinker and a doer. Most importantly, you have faith.

Faith is often spoken of in a religious sense. Here, I mean the belief in something unseen in its purest form—the faith in self. The faith in the future because YOU SEE IT. It’s only unseen to the rest. If you see it, you can be it. If you believe it, go and retrieve it! You have faith that you can create the life you choose. The faith that things may not work out exactly as planned, but will work out best if you let it. The faith that you can steer the ship, but not control the waters, and still arrive safely.  The faith that you can endure anything because you are playing the game of life and intend to win.

You are crazy because you don’t settle for the status quo. You aren’t satisfied with the same things as your co-workers. You don’t have the same concepts of money as the rest in your industry. You take risks that frighten your family. You are so crazy, you have your own belief system you subscribe to! How crazy is that?

Crazy is determined by whoever runs the asylum. They are the gatekeepers for the world they created, but you are the Ultimate Creator of your Universe.  It’s not called Crazytown. It’s called The Future.

www.abc.net.au

Depression is often misunderstood by those who don’t suffer from it. For many, it is a pain of numbness. Some may move through life on autopilot until one day the pain is so raw, they see no other way out of the perpetual sadness but to end their life.

You can feel ungrateful for a seemingly good life, wondering why it’s just not enough to make you happy.  Issues that might jar you slightly during a better time will rock you to your core. Bad news is harder to swallow, changes that much tougher to make because you feel hopeless and completely powerless. There is a no-way-out mentality, swimming in the abyss of despair.

I have battled with depression on and off for the past two decades. When I’m good, I’m great. I’m motivating, hardworking, goal and solution-oriented, positive and upbeat. But when I drop into the darkness, it’s a tough climb out, especially during the winter months.

I spent most of 2014 in the darkness. Enveloped by its unyielding strangulation, I was screaming in the cacophony to no avail. When you’re the rock, it’s hard to share your experience of the darkness. Your friends assume you’re just in a bad mood, offer a few maxims and platitudes with a quick hug. They don’t know how long this “bad mood” lasts so you may never bring it up again. Who wants to be the Debbie Downer? You keep it to yourself, feeling alone again in the darkness.

I am a positive person normally, so why couldn’t I just slap on a happy face and feel good? Why didn’t Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, and Les Brown’s words help, and instead make me feel much worse? The Bible and Qur’an aren’t my source of comfort, so those were out. It takes an understanding that depression is an illness to finally get through it. An illness requires treatment.

When you find the things that give you pleasure no longer do, or the goals you longed to attain seem like a waste of time, the bed becomes your hangout spot, and you feel that nothing else matters – it is time to get help.

Getting Through the Emotional Slump:

• Exercise and reevaluate your diet
• Listen to and recite positive affirmations
• Keep a gratitude journal, where you write down what you’re grateful for each  day
• Seek professional help. Don’t lean on your own understanding.

There is no reason you need to coast through life when you should be riding the waves, the ups and downs, the highs and lows. Pain means you are alive. Embrace it and know that it is temporary.

If you are in limbo, it is time to push through and forgive yourself for feeling bad. Today is another opportunity to feel better. And the fact that you’re still standing is enough reason to push through and make it. I believe in you.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

jetmag.com

Physical violence is not the only type of domestic abuse. Many are victims of what is known as financial abuse, when one partner forcibly controls another’s finances. As a former victim of financial abuse, I know that others will not understand when you attempt to explain how you are being held captive, even without the threat of physical violence. But financial abuse is real and can be very crippling.
The first step is to identify victims of financial abuse.

Characteristics include: 

1. You are never allowed to have your own money, or you’re “given” a small allowance that is monitored closely, with all purchases requiring documentation.
2. Your partner insists on having your paycheck deposited in their account, without providing you access.
3. Not allowed to work, or your spouse/partner limits your working hours.
4. Harassing you at work to jeopardize your employment.
5. Using your social security number and credit for their own expenses.
6. Spending money on themselves, but not allowing you to do the same.
7. If you came into the relationship with a child from a previous relationship and your new spouse/partner claims your child on their taxes without your permission.
8. They use your child’s savings, tuition or trust fund for their own expenses.
9. Giving you gifts or paying for events, but asking you to repay them later.
10. Using their money to overpower you because you are not in the same situation as they are.
11. Refusing to give you money for food, clothes and/or shelter.

Bottom line:

You shouldn’t be held hostage in your own home. When the head of household prevents you from creating a means to leave, it’s time to get help and find a way out.

The following are resources to help you get out of a financially abusive relationship:

• The Police – This is a crime. You may be able to get an order of protection against your abuser.
• The National Domestic Abuse Hotline –  1 (800) 799-SAFE,  for help.
• Womenslaw.org – to find a shelter and get out of there!

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

kirklandpeach.com

You’ve heard the saying, “Show me your company and I’ll tell you who you are,” right? Well, it probably sounds a little unfair, because we should solely be based on our own character and actions. No one wants to be judged, but this is the real world and most people pass judgment by who you are associated with.

In business, you don’t want to sully your reputation by being associated with shady characters, so why would you want that for your personal life? And, honestly, if you’re keeping company with people of questionable morals are you really so different?

So, how do you create a pristine flock of associates for your inner circle? Choose your company wisely. You’re not looking for identical twins, but keep an eye out for people who reflect the values that matters to you most.

My inner circle includes people with strong work ethic and sense of charity, those who value honesty and integrity, tact and discretion, creativity and intellect, financial independence and personal growth. Those closest to me are champions and warriors, givers and listeners, winners and risk takers, they carry themselves as ladies and gentlemen.

Take a look at who is in your personal circle and then ask yourself if you’re proud to call them your friends. Do you respect and admire them? Do they inspire you? Are they apart of who you are becoming or keeping you back because of who you once were? Are you birds of a feather, or do they cluck while you soar? Your inner circle should differ from you in ways that are interesting and promote personal growth, not create drama and negative energy. Love yourself enough to align with those who elevate you to the greatest heights while you do the same.

Remember, sometimes good friends become old friends and new friends become best friends.

Action items:

1. Make a list of the values that matter most to you and the traits that you don’t want attributed to you.
2. Make lists of the five people you spend the most time with in person, on the phone and online. Yes, online presence matters. You aren’t a robot.
3. Honestly and accurately assess who fits and who doesn’t.
4. Make the necessary changes in your life for a better life.

Above all, remember that you, like your friends, are a work in progress. Be the person who you would want to be associated with because ultimately, you will be held accountable for your own actions and behavior, good and bad.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]