[vc_row][vc_column][dt_fancy_title title=”www.fastcompany.com” title_align=”left” title_size=”small”][vc_column_text]I think we all get caught up in a dilemma between exercising our power and compromising our relationships. I have found myself on one too many occasions saying yes when what I really wanted to say was no (accommodating) or simply not saying anything at all (avoidance) ignorantly hoping the problem would somehow rid or fix itself. I’m probably more guilty of the latter. But what happens is that both practices put you in this not so good space where you feel you are losing respect for self as a result of not being able to stand up for yourself, your interests and what’s truly important to you.
You have to be able to say yes before you can say no.
Saying yes first means saying yes, internally to your needs. Our power resides in having a strong sense of who we are; being able to speak honestly and authentically from our hearts without fear of the responses and or reactions our authenticity may evoke. We have to move away from the negative connotation associated with the word no. No doesn’t have to come from a place of anger or resentment. Our no’s should be an opening for resolve, an opportunity to communicate and a segway to strengthen relationships without relinquishing our power. Both can happen simultaneously, we simply need to find that balance.
I remember a time, when I dreaded the idea of telling a particular person, no, literally just could not bring myself to say it. But this time I knew I had to. I had to stand up for myself; so I nervously held my breath and said what I had to say. And guess what? I woke up and realized the world had not dissipated, I hadn’t blown away with the wind and things had not fallen apart, what I so confidently assumed would happen. It was an empowering moment, an “ah ha” moment where I realized something I already knew, more so a reminder that I actually did have the courage and emotional fortitude to stand up for myself. It was an encouraging feeling.
Instead of starting from no, start from your yes. Root your no in a deeper yes– a yes to your core interests and to what truly matters.
These long, elaborate conversations we have with ourselves; the raw and honest ones, where no one can hear you. The ones where everything makes perfect sense, we have to continue to have these conversations, but we also have to put these conversations in real time, with real people, in real life situations, otherwise they don’t really matter. We have to push beyond the discomfort, the fear and start telling the truth, the truth about ourselves and the things that really counts.
Love and Light[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]