Confession of Depression

www.abc.net.au

Depression is often misunderstood by those who don’t suffer from it. For many, it is a pain of numbness. Some may move through life on autopilot until one day the pain is so raw, they see no other way out of the perpetual sadness but to end their life.

You can feel ungrateful for a seemingly good life, wondering why it’s just not enough to make you happy.  Issues that might jar you slightly during a better time will rock you to your core. Bad news is harder to swallow, changes that much tougher to make because you feel hopeless and completely powerless. There is a no-way-out mentality, swimming in the abyss of despair.

I have battled with depression on and off for the past two decades. When I’m good, I’m great. I’m motivating, hardworking, goal and solution-oriented, positive and upbeat. But when I drop into the darkness, it’s a tough climb out, especially during the winter months.

I spent most of 2014 in the darkness. Enveloped by its unyielding strangulation, I was screaming in the cacophony to no avail. When you’re the rock, it’s hard to share your experience of the darkness. Your friends assume you’re just in a bad mood, offer a few maxims and platitudes with a quick hug. They don’t know how long this “bad mood” lasts so you may never bring it up again. Who wants to be the Debbie Downer? You keep it to yourself, feeling alone again in the darkness.

I am a positive person normally, so why couldn’t I just slap on a happy face and feel good? Why didn’t Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, and Les Brown’s words help, and instead make me feel much worse? The Bible and Qur’an aren’t my source of comfort, so those were out. It takes an understanding that depression is an illness to finally get through it. An illness requires treatment.

When you find the things that give you pleasure no longer do, or the goals you longed to attain seem like a waste of time, the bed becomes your hangout spot, and you feel that nothing else matters – it is time to get help.

Getting Through the Emotional Slump:

• Exercise and reevaluate your diet
• Listen to and recite positive affirmations
• Keep a gratitude journal, where you write down what you’re grateful for each  day
• Seek professional help. Don’t lean on your own understanding.

There is no reason you need to coast through life when you should be riding the waves, the ups and downs, the highs and lows. Pain means you are alive. Embrace it and know that it is temporary.

If you are in limbo, it is time to push through and forgive yourself for feeling bad. Today is another opportunity to feel better. And the fact that you’re still standing is enough reason to push through and make it. I believe in you.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]